I walked to work with my head held high. I did not realize how downcast I had been and how much the weight of what I have been carrying had been affecting every aspect of my life. Even my walk. That head down not really meeting any one's eye contact, hurried along, lost in my thoughts.
But today I walked with my head up. Ready to face the world, feeling like a new woman.
It's a good feeling...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Friday, November 14, 2008
My ooooh my...
In 3 days I will be having a birthday, my 32nd. And when I look at how my life has changed from last year to this all I can do is shake my head and sigh...
I have gone from being unhappily married, in a town where I felt pretty much alone. To being contently single and back home just in time for family drama. In just a few months time I have completely relocated, found a new job, and relearned ( am still relearning) me.
I have definitely learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. I am just capable. I know that sounds like a weird statement, but I am sure you have met people that don't realize that they are capable of anything. And I realized I am capable of what ever I set my mind to. Which is exciting and scary all at the same time.
I have learned what love is by not being loved properly. I have learned to be content with very little knowing that the goal is to strive for more. I am looking forward to seeing what is going to happen next...
I have gone from being unhappily married, in a town where I felt pretty much alone. To being contently single and back home just in time for family drama. In just a few months time I have completely relocated, found a new job, and relearned ( am still relearning) me.
I have definitely learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. I am just capable. I know that sounds like a weird statement, but I am sure you have met people that don't realize that they are capable of anything. And I realized I am capable of what ever I set my mind to. Which is exciting and scary all at the same time.
I have learned what love is by not being loved properly. I have learned to be content with very little knowing that the goal is to strive for more. I am looking forward to seeing what is going to happen next...
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I wish I could take credit for this but I can't ...
I recently had someone ask me how I feel about all of our countries current economic strains. It was interesting. The person looked at me as if they anticipated a complaint rolling off my lips. It didn't. Instead, my answer was simple: "God is good." See, it could be worse. I could not have a car to put gas in. It could be me overseas fighting a war with no visible signs of resolve. It could be me buried under piles of debris in China, holding on in hopes that someone will find me. I could've even been that one gunned down by multiple police bullets in that major city.
But God.
I know it sounds churchy, but God's Word is still true. Amen somebody! See, it's not that I'm so solvent that the issues of life don't tug at my heart too. I see them and I don't make light of them. Real talk, I fill my tank just like everyone else. My obligations are no different than yours. I have to pay bills, and run a company while still working another man's vision. And anyone who's a business owner will tell you that often times you may find yourself enduring what seems like endless seasons of sowing prior to reaping any type of harvest. So, I know what it's like to have concerns. We all have concerns. But here's where the men separate from the boys: belief.
The question: whose report will you believe?
See, we can listen to CNN give the economic forecast. We can watch gas prices rise $12,435.29 a gallon. We can even listen to people as they attempt to dictate how we should feel about the state of our economics…but then what? I don't know about you, but I've just always considered myself above the influence. You should too. I mean really, do you know who you serve? Do you know that God has all of the authority over the ability of the enemy? No, now is not the time to be punk'd by life. Church, don't let life handle you, you handle it. Remember, YOU'RE the one with dominion, not devils.
The question is, do you believe it? Is there anybody out there crazy enough to trust God? Where are the people of God willing to stand and speak faith? Anybody out there refuse to cower to the look of things? Okay push pause right here! You know what the church needs right now?
Testimony service.
Yeah, a good old-fashioned testimony service. Anybody want to tune-up the organ and testify? Hold, up! I think my brother David has something he wants to share. King David what do you want to share with the people about the God we serve? "I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread." Psalms 37:25.
Hallelujah! Now, that's what I'm talking about "D". Finally someone willing to give an account. Church, aren't you glad that David reminds us that God will never forsake us? You ought to give him praise for that! I'm so glad to know that although people may leave, God is always there. And not only that but He won't leave us without. Not if we're righteous He won't.
Where all my right standing folks at? Go ahead, with your sanctified, Holy Ghost filled, righteous self (smile)!
Okay, who wants to testify next? Is that Moses I see making his way to the Hammond B? Alright, this is going to be good. Now take your time brother Moses. Don't worry about your stutter either. Speak slowly, we'll wait for you (smile). What can you share to encourage the people Moses? "Know therefore that the LORD thy God, He is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love Him and keep His commandments to a thousand generations.
" Deuteronomy 7:9
My God! Now that's a Word! Thank you Moses for reminding us of His faithfulness. See saints, even in times of famine God is faithful throughout generations. Even when we can't see Him, He's still there. Even when it seems like all hope is gone, He is still true to His Word. Thank you Lord! God I thank you for your faithfulness. God I take time out to bless you today. My God, I feel a praise stirring. Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well? Don't just sit there! Go ahead and bless God wherever you are! I am so for real right now! Don't let fear box you in. I dare you right now wherever you are to let out a loud, unorthodox, radical this-may-be-my-last-time praise! And don't worry about people around you thinking you're crazy. I mean really. You're in front of a computer. Praising God. While reading a Myspace blog. You don't think they know you're crazy yet (smile)? Oh, whatever.
C'mon, let's just bless Him anyway!
Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew, Lord. Okay, let's bring this thing home.
Is there anyone else that can share with us some final words of encouragement? Can anyone speak to that one that still hasn't caught a hold of what's going on here? Can anyone share for that one who is reading this right now and wondering 'How can you tell me to be encouraged when you don't know what's in my bank account? When's the last time you lived paycheck to paycheck? And how can I see tomorrow, if I can't even get passed today?'
Oh my is that who I think it is coming toward the front? Is that the King of kings? The Lord, of lords? Wow! Ladies and gentlemen the ultimate Propitiation Himself, Jesus the Christ. JC, what do you have to share in response to all of this? "The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment. 24) Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls? 25) And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit? 26) If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest? 27) Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28) If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith? 29) And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. 30) For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. 31) But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you." Luke 12:23-31.
My God with a Word like that, there's only one place to go from here. The doors of the church are now open (smile). The invitation is extended. Now is the time to lay it all on the altar. Lack? Lay it down. Worry? Lay it down. Fear? Lay it down. God knows my sister. He sees my brother. He has not forgotten you. He's standing right in the midst of your situation with arms wide open waiting to show Himself as Jehovah-jireh, the God that provides.
He just has one question:
Won't you come?
Nikki Washington
http://www.glowmagazineonline.com
Wasn't that awesome, now visit Glow online and give Ms. Nikki a shout!
But God.
I know it sounds churchy, but God's Word is still true. Amen somebody! See, it's not that I'm so solvent that the issues of life don't tug at my heart too. I see them and I don't make light of them. Real talk, I fill my tank just like everyone else. My obligations are no different than yours. I have to pay bills, and run a company while still working another man's vision. And anyone who's a business owner will tell you that often times you may find yourself enduring what seems like endless seasons of sowing prior to reaping any type of harvest. So, I know what it's like to have concerns. We all have concerns. But here's where the men separate from the boys: belief.
The question: whose report will you believe?
See, we can listen to CNN give the economic forecast. We can watch gas prices rise $12,435.29 a gallon. We can even listen to people as they attempt to dictate how we should feel about the state of our economics…but then what? I don't know about you, but I've just always considered myself above the influence. You should too. I mean really, do you know who you serve? Do you know that God has all of the authority over the ability of the enemy? No, now is not the time to be punk'd by life. Church, don't let life handle you, you handle it. Remember, YOU'RE the one with dominion, not devils.
The question is, do you believe it? Is there anybody out there crazy enough to trust God? Where are the people of God willing to stand and speak faith? Anybody out there refuse to cower to the look of things? Okay push pause right here! You know what the church needs right now?
Testimony service.
Yeah, a good old-fashioned testimony service. Anybody want to tune-up the organ and testify? Hold, up! I think my brother David has something he wants to share. King David what do you want to share with the people about the God we serve? "I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread." Psalms 37:25.
Hallelujah! Now, that's what I'm talking about "D". Finally someone willing to give an account. Church, aren't you glad that David reminds us that God will never forsake us? You ought to give him praise for that! I'm so glad to know that although people may leave, God is always there. And not only that but He won't leave us without. Not if we're righteous He won't.
Where all my right standing folks at? Go ahead, with your sanctified, Holy Ghost filled, righteous self (smile)!
Okay, who wants to testify next? Is that Moses I see making his way to the Hammond B? Alright, this is going to be good. Now take your time brother Moses. Don't worry about your stutter either. Speak slowly, we'll wait for you (smile). What can you share to encourage the people Moses? "Know therefore that the LORD thy God, He is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love Him and keep His commandments to a thousand generations.
" Deuteronomy 7:9
My God! Now that's a Word! Thank you Moses for reminding us of His faithfulness. See saints, even in times of famine God is faithful throughout generations. Even when we can't see Him, He's still there. Even when it seems like all hope is gone, He is still true to His Word. Thank you Lord! God I thank you for your faithfulness. God I take time out to bless you today. My God, I feel a praise stirring. Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well? Don't just sit there! Go ahead and bless God wherever you are! I am so for real right now! Don't let fear box you in. I dare you right now wherever you are to let out a loud, unorthodox, radical this-may-be-my-last-time praise! And don't worry about people around you thinking you're crazy. I mean really. You're in front of a computer. Praising God. While reading a Myspace blog. You don't think they know you're crazy yet (smile)? Oh, whatever.
C'mon, let's just bless Him anyway!
Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew, Lord. Okay, let's bring this thing home.
Is there anyone else that can share with us some final words of encouragement? Can anyone speak to that one that still hasn't caught a hold of what's going on here? Can anyone share for that one who is reading this right now and wondering 'How can you tell me to be encouraged when you don't know what's in my bank account? When's the last time you lived paycheck to paycheck? And how can I see tomorrow, if I can't even get passed today?'
Oh my is that who I think it is coming toward the front? Is that the King of kings? The Lord, of lords? Wow! Ladies and gentlemen the ultimate Propitiation Himself, Jesus the Christ. JC, what do you have to share in response to all of this? "The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment. 24) Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls? 25) And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit? 26) If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest? 27) Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28) If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith? 29) And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. 30) For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. 31) But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you." Luke 12:23-31.
My God with a Word like that, there's only one place to go from here. The doors of the church are now open (smile). The invitation is extended. Now is the time to lay it all on the altar. Lack? Lay it down. Worry? Lay it down. Fear? Lay it down. God knows my sister. He sees my brother. He has not forgotten you. He's standing right in the midst of your situation with arms wide open waiting to show Himself as Jehovah-jireh, the God that provides.
He just has one question:
Won't you come?
Nikki Washington
http://www.glowmagazineonline.com
Wasn't that awesome, now visit Glow online and give Ms. Nikki a shout!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I always feel guilty...
About how infrequently I blog. Like if you are going to have a blog then you should write something at least every other day. But what if nothing interesting happens, that is "blog worthy" then what? And who exactly am I writing this for? I have no dreams of becoming a professional blogger (how there even is such a thing is beyond me), plus my grammar is way to bad for that. But yet in still I feel guilty. I usually post things on here that strike me as funny, or something that pertains to my business. But no sort of deliberate schedule, of for any kind of particular audience (even though I would like to think I have a small following, I mean really who doesn't) . Okay enough, I give up, I refuse to be this critical of myself. I will blog when I want to and about what I want to, because that is why I started this whole thing. As nothing more than a release...ahhh. Having said all that onto today's topic...
I fully think I have some form of OCD. Not so bad that I can't function, but almost. Not the washing your hands a million times, or having to lock the door over and over again type. But just as strange none the less. Please note that I am in no way, shape, or form making light of people with this disorder, I just wonder is it possible to have a slight case of it. From day to day I find myself fixated on certain things, and don't feel like my day is complete until I have either done what I set out to do, or find what ever it is that I am looking for, or what ever. Sometimes this is not a bad thing, like today for example, I woke up this morning and decided that I was going to make bread. For no particular reason, not to go with a special meal or anything like that, just make bread. And I had to make 2 loaves. One would not do, no, it HAD to be 2. This doesn't sound too bad right? It didn't really interfere with anything else I had to today, but here's where it gets a little weird. Before I could even have my morning coffee, I had to have all of the ingredients out and lined up on the table. I could not even take a shower until the first loaf was in the oven.Hmmm...just a little OCD.
Scenario number 2, I am absolutely obsessed with Shia Labeouf right now. Not stalker type obsessed, but I find myself looking up some random piece of information on him almost everyday. The day is just not complete with out a tidbit about Shia. My teenage daughters think this is hilarious and constantly remind me this is the same young man that was in Holes. But it didn't start back then, this one is new. Plus did you see him in Transformers, Constantine, I-Robot, come on, how could I not be a little fixated. Oh dear and he is on the cover or GQ, hmmm...OCD...I already had my fix today, yeah google is great for stuff like that.
Then there's the color coding thing... well maybe that is not the right name for it, but I buy everything with a sort of background thought about this color coding system I have. This system is set up strictly for my children. (huh, you say) When my four oldest were little they had colors for all of their kitchen utensils. Oldest to youngest was blue, yellow, green, and red. I used to say that I did that to make sure that they didn't fight over who got what. But that was only a half truth. It was for me. Everything had to match, and now that I have this second generation of children, it has started all over again. Now the colors are blue, green, and pink. And today the littlest swirlie was very upset because she did not want to use pink, she wanted green. Well, that is not her color! I tried to explain to her that her cup is pink, so she had to use the pink plate, it only made sense. She was not listening to this logic, because she's 2,what is wrong with me. So needless to say she got to eat on the green plate, and her big brother used pink. But I could not stop thinking about this, so much so that I had to freaking blog about it. OCD! Ugh!
Alright maybe I am being a bit dramatic, but seriously, this could become an issue,I mean it could completely take over, my goodness,what if it moves beyond the color coding thing,I could have an episode just thinking about me having it!I'm kidding, kinda, sorta. By the way the bread was delicious :)
I fully think I have some form of OCD. Not so bad that I can't function, but almost. Not the washing your hands a million times, or having to lock the door over and over again type. But just as strange none the less. Please note that I am in no way, shape, or form making light of people with this disorder, I just wonder is it possible to have a slight case of it. From day to day I find myself fixated on certain things, and don't feel like my day is complete until I have either done what I set out to do, or find what ever it is that I am looking for, or what ever. Sometimes this is not a bad thing, like today for example, I woke up this morning and decided that I was going to make bread. For no particular reason, not to go with a special meal or anything like that, just make bread. And I had to make 2 loaves. One would not do, no, it HAD to be 2. This doesn't sound too bad right? It didn't really interfere with anything else I had to today, but here's where it gets a little weird. Before I could even have my morning coffee, I had to have all of the ingredients out and lined up on the table. I could not even take a shower until the first loaf was in the oven.Hmmm...just a little OCD.
Scenario number 2, I am absolutely obsessed with Shia Labeouf right now. Not stalker type obsessed, but I find myself looking up some random piece of information on him almost everyday. The day is just not complete with out a tidbit about Shia. My teenage daughters think this is hilarious and constantly remind me this is the same young man that was in Holes. But it didn't start back then, this one is new. Plus did you see him in Transformers, Constantine, I-Robot, come on, how could I not be a little fixated. Oh dear and he is on the cover or GQ, hmmm...OCD...I already had my fix today, yeah google is great for stuff like that.
Then there's the color coding thing... well maybe that is not the right name for it, but I buy everything with a sort of background thought about this color coding system I have. This system is set up strictly for my children. (huh, you say) When my four oldest were little they had colors for all of their kitchen utensils. Oldest to youngest was blue, yellow, green, and red. I used to say that I did that to make sure that they didn't fight over who got what. But that was only a half truth. It was for me. Everything had to match, and now that I have this second generation of children, it has started all over again. Now the colors are blue, green, and pink. And today the littlest swirlie was very upset because she did not want to use pink, she wanted green. Well, that is not her color! I tried to explain to her that her cup is pink, so she had to use the pink plate, it only made sense. She was not listening to this logic, because she's 2,what is wrong with me. So needless to say she got to eat on the green plate, and her big brother used pink. But I could not stop thinking about this, so much so that I had to freaking blog about it. OCD! Ugh!
Alright maybe I am being a bit dramatic, but seriously, this could become an issue,I mean it could completely take over, my goodness,what if it moves beyond the color coding thing,I could have an episode just thinking about me having it!I'm kidding, kinda, sorta. By the way the bread was delicious :)
Monday, May 12, 2008
Organized Life by Design
I am really loving this new group, it is all about living an organized life according to God's principles. The women on here are great... take a look!
Visit Organized Life by Design
Visit Organized Life by Design
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day to Me!!
Alright so the day is still early, but so far, so AWESOME!!! Seriously this is the highlight of my day:
This is my daughters and me performing this morning at my church... I will have to explain more later, just know that this was an answer to prayer!
Happy Mother's Day All!
This is my daughters and me performing this morning at my church... I will have to explain more later, just know that this was an answer to prayer!
Happy Mother's Day All!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Where have all the Boy Scouts gone?
Today as I was doing my Friday run around, I was driving down was is a fairly busy street in town. As I was breaking the law and talking on my cell phone, (fully justified because I was stopped at a red light) I saw a very sad sight; two little old ladies trying to cross the street. The first lady made is across OK but as the second lady tried to cross the light started to change, so she RAN back to the corner. It took all that I had to not seriously pull a citizen's traffic stop kind of thing, get out of my car and help her get across the street. All I could think is where are all the little boys looking to earn so me kind of merit badge and help this poor lady across the street? It was just really sad...I would hope that if this was me, there would be some one that would stop, or at least stop their cars long enough to let me get across.
OK, now you ask, did I stop? No...pathetic, I know. But before you wag your finger at me (or worse) all I could think is: I pull over, get out of my van, run up to this complete stranger, offer to help her cross the street, and she begins to hurl wonderful words of insults at me because I scared the crap out of her and what on Earth makes me think that she is incapable of crossing the street by herself. Geesh, lady I was just trying to help!
OK, OK, so that is what happened to all the Boy Scouts...just maybe?!
OK, now you ask, did I stop? No...pathetic, I know. But before you wag your finger at me (or worse) all I could think is: I pull over, get out of my van, run up to this complete stranger, offer to help her cross the street, and she begins to hurl wonderful words of insults at me because I scared the crap out of her and what on Earth makes me think that she is incapable of crossing the street by herself. Geesh, lady I was just trying to help!
OK, OK, so that is what happened to all the Boy Scouts...just maybe?!
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